...otherwise one day, karma will jump up and bite you on the ass.
Life is far too busy for online dating at the moment. Given as I average one free evening a week at the moment (and need that to do laundry) I have little time for seeing the people I like to see on a regular basis, let alone anyone new. [Having said that, I would of course drop all plans should certain men suddenly become desperate to spend time with me.]
That's not to say that there are no stories to tell. As with many of the stories I seem to share here, it's one of living in a very small world and, in this specific case, bad karma.
Yesterday, I saw Good Male Friend while he was working at a decidedly chilly Christmas market with a colleague of mine (well, we do the same job but with different organisations) and someone I'd not met before, but had heard a lot about. GMF and I don't have many mutual friends, but our social circles often collide in exceedingly random and coincidental ways. I was therefore not surprised when he said "I met someone you know at Thanksgiving dinner yesterday..." What I wasn't expecting was the response I got to my question of who it was. Apparently I "went on a blind date with him in the summer and never called him back - he seemed rather miffed about it".
Oh yes, GMF had met Mr Long Replyer. (Why I didn't respond in the end is chronicled here and here.) Oh good God, how does this stuff happen to me?!
It was, of course, owing to my unfortunately unusual surname. Apparently I'd come up in conversation (I knew a few people at the meal) and as soon as my surname was mentioned, Mr Long Replyer made the connection. How I cringed! Not least because it means that there's a possibility I may run into him again in the future - eeek.
I tried to explain to GMF and colleague why I'd not replied in the end - without making him sound bad. GMF insisted that it probably wasn't such a big deal and it was just one of those things. Colleague pointed out that they'd agreed at the meal not to mention it to me, but GMF couldn't resist.
This leads me into an interesting position, in a variety of ways:
(i) GMF had no idea I was dipping my toe into the dating scene and seemed somewhat surprised that I'd not told him about it or this date. [To be fair, not only was it a month after he told me he wasn't interested, he was also in America.]
(ii) GMF now knows that this blog exists and what its about - yet is disappointed that I won't give him the link. Hmph.
(iii) One of the negatives of Mr LR was that he was very like GMF, yet wasn't GMF - I wonder if GMF spotted this?
(iv) What if I meet Mr LR again? That will be quite, quite embarrassing.
In the mean time, I will simply hang my head in embarrassment and shame and pray for forgiveness. Never again will I not reply to someone's heartfelt missive. I am a bad, bad woman.
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Saturday, 16 October 2010
The danger of complaining
Over the summer, the Christian dating site re-launched itself and as a result all members got full access for a trial period. Unfortunately, this coincided with my holiday away with several thousand Christians, so I missed out.
A few weeks later I spotted a couple of glitches with the new set-up (it was around the time I was considering returning to it as a fully paid-up member) so e-mailed to let them know. At the same time I threw in a minor complaint that I'd missed out on the free trial, kind of hoping to be given another.
I was, though sadly this trial clashed with Christian festival weekend, so again I couldn't use it. Once home, I considered e-mailing again and opened up the message I'd been sent. That was when I realised that it had been written by someone I know. Someone whose husband is in the same kids church team as me, who I was next to during the service a couple of weeks ago...
Yes, I was vaguely aware that she worked for this site, but I didn't really know what she did! Does she know it was actually me? Probably? Am I embarrassed? Yes.
I shouldn't be embarrassed, it's just a dating site, but still. Stupid small world.
An update:
I haven't re-joined the Christian site properly, but I have cancelled my eHarmony subscription. Actually, I've not been thinking about online dating much because, well because an idiot boy's being an idiot. I should probably stop letting that be a distraction and jump back into the game in time for the nights drawing in.
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
It's a small, small world after all...
My last post mentioned Guardian Man - he was the man that prompted me to shell out actual money to join Christian Connection - ticked a lot of my boxes - but sadly, never replied to my initial e-mail. (Was it because I mentioned my dislike of the Guardian website's re-design? Quite possibly.) My colleague's friend was using the next Christian festival as an opportunity to meet up with him.
The end of the summer Christian festival is usually good for a bit of speed dating and a lot of the Christian Connection men state that they're fans - in fact Mr Long Replyer and I had a long chat about it on our date. I've dabbled in the speed dating events, but otherwise there aren't a lot of opportunities to get chatting with potentially interesting men. To be honest, a little bit of me regretted not having had the forethought to try and set up some dates in advance.
On the drive down to the fields of green, the driver (another London based Christian singleton) and I were chatting about this story and the fact that it's quite brave to set something like that up - I mean, what if the date was a total disaster and you kept bumping into them throughout the event? [Because of course we all know that it is those we wish to avoid who we bump into at every opportunity.]
Anyway, in my telling of the story I mentioned that this was a guy I'd e-mailed owing to his Guardian connections. Her ears pricked up at this and asked if I knew his name - I did and she laughed - it turned out she knew him (went to the same church). The small, small Christian world strikes again!
This in itself was amusing enough, but on the last night she orchestrated a move that I wouldn't usually consider her capable of. At literally the final event of the entire festival, he appeared - it turned out he was involved behind the scenes. He spotted her, she waved and he came over - so she took the opportunity to introduce us.
I should at this moment mention that it was now 1am on Tuesday morning. I'd been camping since Friday - my last shower had been Friday morning. I was sun and wind burned. My hair had been in a hat for quite a while. I was wearing my 'camping ocassions fleece' (possibly my least attractive item of clothing) and had just had a little nap during a rather dull female guitar folk session.
After the introduction, Guardian Man looked at me a little oddly and asked what my surname was. He had that look that said "I recognise you, but I can't think where from" - of course, I wasn't about to say that it was from an online dating site! Then, either tiredness, embarassment or nerves kicked in (actually, probably a combination of all three) and I was afflicted with logorrhea [a new word learnt last weekend meaning a pathological inability to stop talking].
My friend mentioned that I was sleeping in her tent tonight and I piped up with a story about the late night films I'd been making with my previous tent-mate who had left that evening. He seemed a little mystified as to why I should be so excited by this and what the point of it was (indeed, many of our friends had exactly the same thoughts). I can't remember what else I managed to come out with, but needless to say, I did not do myself justice - much to my friends' amusement.
And what of Guardian Man himself? Moderately cute, beardy, interesting clothing (though one mustn't judge at festivals, unless it's a very unique form of festival chic - i.e. anything tie-dyed or batikked). and an interesting job. Just a shame that he probably came away wondering who on earth the freak was that his friend introduced him to...
The end of the summer Christian festival is usually good for a bit of speed dating and a lot of the Christian Connection men state that they're fans - in fact Mr Long Replyer and I had a long chat about it on our date. I've dabbled in the speed dating events, but otherwise there aren't a lot of opportunities to get chatting with potentially interesting men. To be honest, a little bit of me regretted not having had the forethought to try and set up some dates in advance.
On the drive down to the fields of green, the driver (another London based Christian singleton) and I were chatting about this story and the fact that it's quite brave to set something like that up - I mean, what if the date was a total disaster and you kept bumping into them throughout the event? [Because of course we all know that it is those we wish to avoid who we bump into at every opportunity.]
Anyway, in my telling of the story I mentioned that this was a guy I'd e-mailed owing to his Guardian connections. Her ears pricked up at this and asked if I knew his name - I did and she laughed - it turned out she knew him (went to the same church). The small, small Christian world strikes again!
This in itself was amusing enough, but on the last night she orchestrated a move that I wouldn't usually consider her capable of. At literally the final event of the entire festival, he appeared - it turned out he was involved behind the scenes. He spotted her, she waved and he came over - so she took the opportunity to introduce us.
I should at this moment mention that it was now 1am on Tuesday morning. I'd been camping since Friday - my last shower had been Friday morning. I was sun and wind burned. My hair had been in a hat for quite a while. I was wearing my 'camping ocassions fleece' (possibly my least attractive item of clothing) and had just had a little nap during a rather dull female guitar folk session.
After the introduction, Guardian Man looked at me a little oddly and asked what my surname was. He had that look that said "I recognise you, but I can't think where from" - of course, I wasn't about to say that it was from an online dating site! Then, either tiredness, embarassment or nerves kicked in (actually, probably a combination of all three) and I was afflicted with logorrhea [a new word learnt last weekend meaning a pathological inability to stop talking].
My friend mentioned that I was sleeping in her tent tonight and I piped up with a story about the late night films I'd been making with my previous tent-mate who had left that evening. He seemed a little mystified as to why I should be so excited by this and what the point of it was (indeed, many of our friends had exactly the same thoughts). I can't remember what else I managed to come out with, but needless to say, I did not do myself justice - much to my friends' amusement.
And what of Guardian Man himself? Moderately cute, beardy, interesting clothing (though one mustn't judge at festivals, unless it's a very unique form of festival chic - i.e. anything tie-dyed or batikked). and an interesting job. Just a shame that he probably came away wondering who on earth the freak was that his friend introduced him to...
Saturday, 21 August 2010
Returning?
The last couple of weeks I've been strangely drawn to Christian Connections again. Last month it underwent a re-design, which has improved it a lot. There was a free trial of the new features which I missed thanks to the previously mentioned Christian gathering in tents, but all of a sudden I had random e-mails telling me that some man had 'waved' at me.
Plus, a colleague at work happened to mention a friend of hers who was doing quite well with the site, in fact, was meeting up with a couple of guys at the next Christian gathering in tents at the end of next week. As she described one of the guys I had a strange sense of deja vu - one happened to work at the Guardian, doing something with their website. Sure enough, it turned out to be the first guy I'd e-mailed on the site, in fact, the guy that pretty much persuaded me to hand over money to join so I could e-mail him. [Incidentally, he never replied - bastard. ;)] In other small world coincidences, it turns out that I have a large number of mutual friends with this girl, so I may have to bump into her some time.
So anyway, revisiting Christian Connections it seems that the questions they ask are better and there are more members - so who knows what might happen? I've also just fired off an e-mail complaint (something about questions that don't match what's on the profile - I can be a pedant at times) and maybe that'll result in some kind of freebie...
My eharmony membership runs out next month and I won't be renewing it, so it's definitely time to try something else - the only question is, do I return to the Christians or head out into the secular world?
Plus, a colleague at work happened to mention a friend of hers who was doing quite well with the site, in fact, was meeting up with a couple of guys at the next Christian gathering in tents at the end of next week. As she described one of the guys I had a strange sense of deja vu - one happened to work at the Guardian, doing something with their website. Sure enough, it turned out to be the first guy I'd e-mailed on the site, in fact, the guy that pretty much persuaded me to hand over money to join so I could e-mail him. [Incidentally, he never replied - bastard. ;)] In other small world coincidences, it turns out that I have a large number of mutual friends with this girl, so I may have to bump into her some time.
So anyway, revisiting Christian Connections it seems that the questions they ask are better and there are more members - so who knows what might happen? I've also just fired off an e-mail complaint (something about questions that don't match what's on the profile - I can be a pedant at times) and maybe that'll result in some kind of freebie...
My eharmony membership runs out next month and I won't be renewing it, so it's definitely time to try something else - the only question is, do I return to the Christians or head out into the secular world?
Friday, 6 August 2010
Christian online dating - in the flesh
Christian festival season has begun. (Actually, I believe it began around Easter...) Last week I subjected myself to a week's camping in Somerset with a few church friends in the name of 'holiday' and spiritual enlightenment.
Large gatherings of Christians are meant to be ideal hunting grounds for potential partners. After all, you're spared the need to filter out the non-Christians and you have ample time to get to know people. I guess this was the reason behind turning one of the socials into a Christian Singles Mingle. [Not the title it was given, incidentally.]
I've not been to one before - though I tried to, the last time one was on at church, but my date stood me up. The idea is that you take a friend of the opposite sex (who you don't want to date, but think others might) along with you and spend the evening mingling with other like-minded single Christians. I can see this working fairly well in my usual London context. Recreated in a marquee in Shepton Mallet seemed to work less well...
Early on in the week, I'd ascertained that I wouldn't be working that particular night [my free ticket to the event was courtesy of being a barista for 7 days) and so had given some thought as to who I'd take with me. Few people came to mind but I thought that perhaps some of my new-found coffee friends might be up for it. Turning up for my early evening shift I discovered that indeed, a few were interested - but mostly at the instigation of my older, female tent-mate.
The level of interest appeared to be veiling a slight whiff of desperation. When the social kicked off a couple of hours later, the atmosphere in the bar was one of heightened anticipation. By this point I'd decided I was better off out of it (choosing instead to spend my night off drinking gin) and sat watching the minglers get down to it.
Before they were directed to an area of the tent far away from the bar, one man approached me to ask if I was participating. I replied in the negative and when asked why simply said that it was my first night off all week and I was rather tired. It struck me that he was asking for one of two possible reasons:
(i) He needed a woman with him in order to gain entry.
(ii) He thought I looked interesting and therefore hoped that he'd have opportunity for a conversation later.
Either way, I wasn't particularly interested. The thought then struck me that looking around, it was effectively the people of Christian Connection in the flesh.
By the end of the evening I had decided that there was no way I was that desperate, and helpfully, new-found friends informed me that I didn't need to be that desperate. Even turning 29 at the end of the week didn't plunge me into a black-hole of singleness depression. Playing this game light-heartedly is definitely the way forward.
Next on the agenda? Speed dating at summer's second Christian festival opportunity. Fun times.
Large gatherings of Christians are meant to be ideal hunting grounds for potential partners. After all, you're spared the need to filter out the non-Christians and you have ample time to get to know people. I guess this was the reason behind turning one of the socials into a Christian Singles Mingle. [Not the title it was given, incidentally.]
I've not been to one before - though I tried to, the last time one was on at church, but my date stood me up. The idea is that you take a friend of the opposite sex (who you don't want to date, but think others might) along with you and spend the evening mingling with other like-minded single Christians. I can see this working fairly well in my usual London context. Recreated in a marquee in Shepton Mallet seemed to work less well...
Early on in the week, I'd ascertained that I wouldn't be working that particular night [my free ticket to the event was courtesy of being a barista for 7 days) and so had given some thought as to who I'd take with me. Few people came to mind but I thought that perhaps some of my new-found coffee friends might be up for it. Turning up for my early evening shift I discovered that indeed, a few were interested - but mostly at the instigation of my older, female tent-mate.
The level of interest appeared to be veiling a slight whiff of desperation. When the social kicked off a couple of hours later, the atmosphere in the bar was one of heightened anticipation. By this point I'd decided I was better off out of it (choosing instead to spend my night off drinking gin) and sat watching the minglers get down to it.
Before they were directed to an area of the tent far away from the bar, one man approached me to ask if I was participating. I replied in the negative and when asked why simply said that it was my first night off all week and I was rather tired. It struck me that he was asking for one of two possible reasons:
(i) He needed a woman with him in order to gain entry.
(ii) He thought I looked interesting and therefore hoped that he'd have opportunity for a conversation later.
Either way, I wasn't particularly interested. The thought then struck me that looking around, it was effectively the people of Christian Connection in the flesh.
By the end of the evening I had decided that there was no way I was that desperate, and helpfully, new-found friends informed me that I didn't need to be that desperate. Even turning 29 at the end of the week didn't plunge me into a black-hole of singleness depression. Playing this game light-heartedly is definitely the way forward.
Next on the agenda? Speed dating at summer's second Christian festival opportunity. Fun times.
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Not at all harmonious
Just in case you were wondering whether my silence meant that my online dating quest had come to fruition (or I no longer needed to hunt virtually) I can confirm that it hasn't, and I haven't. Life has been busy and, to be honest, I stopped getting a flicker of excitement when eHarmony emailed to announce a new match.
The problem, I've discovered, with eHarmony is that because it tells you who you've matched with it's something of a waiting a game. If you don't fancy any of your current matches there's nothing you can do except wait for another to turn up.
Mr Beautiful Eyes didn't respond after I answered his paragraph questions. Perhaps I gave the wrong reasons for joining the site or maybe he wasn't so interested in the interest I suggested me and my partner could share. (I can't even remember what I suggested, but I think it's a dumb question!)
But, I have a new dilemma. I got an email via the Guardian the other date and it was both funny and from someone half-way decent. Thing is, I can't reply without full membership and I'm not sure I can paying for the sake of one email!
It's also possible that I'm only drawn to him because he recognised my country of birth. One of the weirder aspects of Guardian Soulmates is that it asks you where you were born and then lists it - I don't 'come from' there, it was quite literally an accident of birth (though one that I'm quite proud of). So for someone to have noticed it, known where it is and have been there is altogether quite impressive. Thing is, his opener was "Wow - you're from xxxxxx!" and of course, I don't - I'm utterly British. Oh well, I guess I can clear up that misunderstanding should we ever get to communicate properly.
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
Put your pens down...now.
Gradually, I'm being introduced to the varying levels of communication that eHarmony permits. Today, I got the next level with Mr Beautiful Eyes. [He doesn't have beautiful eyes, but it's one of the things he lists as attractive in the opposite sex - it's about the only unique thing I've discovered about him so far...plus, I have it on good authority that should we meet, he may be rather impressed by my blue peepers!]
Anyway, I wasn't sure what the next step would involve, so logged on with interest. The first thing I noticed was a line in bold type instructing me that:
'You must complete your work and click "Send" within 60 minutes to avoid being logged out.'
Anyone else feeling the exam vibes?? The 'work' in question is another list of questions, this time with space to write your answer in your own words - the excitement! It goes on to suggest that you draft your response in Word to avoid losing your thoughts. This isn't online dating so much as coursework regulations!
On reading the questions, it moves into job interview mode...
1. Why have you signed up to eHarmony and what are you hoping to get from it?
2. How do you enjoy spending your free time? Do you enjoy any particular sports or exercise?
3. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
I will now have to take some time to carefully consider my response. Is dating meant to be such brain-draining work?
Anyway, I wasn't sure what the next step would involve, so logged on with interest. The first thing I noticed was a line in bold type instructing me that:
'You must complete your work and click "Send" within 60 minutes to avoid being logged out.'
Anyone else feeling the exam vibes?? The 'work' in question is another list of questions, this time with space to write your answer in your own words - the excitement! It goes on to suggest that you draft your response in Word to avoid losing your thoughts. This isn't online dating so much as coursework regulations!
On reading the questions, it moves into job interview mode...
1. Why have you signed up to eHarmony and what are you hoping to get from it?
2. How do you enjoy spending your free time? Do you enjoy any particular sports or exercise?
3. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
I will now have to take some time to carefully consider my response. Is dating meant to be such brain-draining work?
Saturday, 5 June 2010
How rude!
Today I received a 'nudge' via eHarmony. Apparently one of the men who'd initiated communication with me last week (who I'd responded to over their bank holiday weekend of free communication) was getting impatient that I'd not taken the next step and was reminding me that he existed...
A nudge is something I'd associate with a friendly game - the kind of thing one sends when you've got a really good rack of letters in an online scrabble game and want your opponent to make their move so that you can play yours and gloat. I'm well-aware of who I'm currently communicating with online (they handily give me a whole communicating tab on my matches for this purpose!) and I'm taking my time, thank-you very much.
Reappraising myself with his profile I remembered that this is Mr Scuba Diver. Someone who mentions spending time under-water in 5 separate sections of their profile (especially one that's partially computer generated) may not be suited to love on dry land.
This also leads me to a recent wondering: have I over-emphasised my liking of physical fitness in setting up my profile? Almost every guy I've been matched with is incredibly sporty - as in, into multiple sports on a very committed level. I know my gym visits are important to me and yes, I object to things that clash with my Monday evening pilates class, but have they misinterpreted this enthusiasm for genuine talent? It's like my year 10 Morrisby profile all over again - where ticking yes to the question "would you like to be a sports star" resulted in PE teacher being suggested as a career option. There's a big difference between sitting on the sofa watching Wimbledon, imagining winning the final and actually being good at sport!
A nudge is something I'd associate with a friendly game - the kind of thing one sends when you've got a really good rack of letters in an online scrabble game and want your opponent to make their move so that you can play yours and gloat. I'm well-aware of who I'm currently communicating with online (they handily give me a whole communicating tab on my matches for this purpose!) and I'm taking my time, thank-you very much.
Reappraising myself with his profile I remembered that this is Mr Scuba Diver. Someone who mentions spending time under-water in 5 separate sections of their profile (especially one that's partially computer generated) may not be suited to love on dry land.
This also leads me to a recent wondering: have I over-emphasised my liking of physical fitness in setting up my profile? Almost every guy I've been matched with is incredibly sporty - as in, into multiple sports on a very committed level. I know my gym visits are important to me and yes, I object to things that clash with my Monday evening pilates class, but have they misinterpreted this enthusiasm for genuine talent? It's like my year 10 Morrisby profile all over again - where ticking yes to the question "would you like to be a sports star" resulted in PE teacher being suggested as a career option. There's a big difference between sitting on the sofa watching Wimbledon, imagining winning the final and actually being good at sport!
Friday, 4 June 2010
Being guided
So, in the weird world of eHarmony, the first actual communication you get with a possibility is a 5 question multiple choice quiz. I've taken the strategy of sending the same questions to all matches I like the look of - mainly because I can't be bothered to keep choosing new ones, and they're fairly important criteria.
I'm not entirely sure what these questions say about me, but this is how I judge the responses:
I'm not entirely sure what these questions say about me, but this is how I judge the responses:
- If you decided to stay at home for the evening would you tend to: watch TV; clean; read; talk on the phone [I'm not so bothered by this answer, it's just intriguing!]
- How many books did you read last year? 0-3; 3-7; 8-12; more than 12 [This needs to be 12+, it's an imperative.]
- If you went out to eat with a friend, which of the following would you prefer? A nice 4* restaurant; a basic steakhouse; an undiscovered hideaway; a hole in the wall with great food. [Steak house is a definite no - the others are all fine.]
- How do you feel about food? Gourmand; eat healthily & consume little; like it & occasionally eat large meals; eat three regular meals a day. [This is more so I know where I stand - especially if there's a foodie in the offing!]
- If I had a bad day, what is the first thing you would do for me? Cook you dinner; rub your shoulders; talk with you about your day; take you out on the town. [Talking, rubbing shoulders & cooking would all win...]
Lest you fear that this is totally impersonal, eHarmony does allow a little creativity - there's an 'other' option for each question. Some bright sparks use this to try and catch your attention...
The food question? Don't just tell me about your eating habits, throw in a bit more of your personality:
I love to eat food and experience international culture through it.I enjoy cooking and having mates round.... It's more the company than the food.
If I've had a bad day? Make yourself sound like the perfect man:
I'd put the kettle on and make tea, followed by a shoulder rub and talking about your day. Really depends on the situation.Can I cook you dinner and then take you out for a drink? Awww, since you asked so nicely, yes you can!
Or, just make yourself sound a tad desperate: Talk to you and do what ever is necessary to do. Well, if it's 'necessary'...
Interesting stuff, yet I can't help wondering if this just makes me even more judgemental than simple profile watching!
Thursday, 3 June 2010
A sucker for a special offer
Last night I was seriously toying with the notion of actually paying for eHarmony. I reached the credit card stage a couple of times and then retreated. I'm glad I did - today I got an e-mail offering me 3 months for the price of 1 which is a veritable bargain in any (paid for) online dating situation. And thus, month two is kicking off with a farewell to Christian Connections and hello the eerily computerised world of eHarmony.
Some things remain the same...amongst my current matches I've spotted one guy that was also on Christian Connections. Spooky.
So, now that I have full rights, I've been making the most of it and firing off 'communications' left, right and centre. Whilst the computerisation might feel impersonal, it's actually way easier to express interest in people. No awkward first e-mails - simply a 'guided communication' consisting of 5 questions.
Yes, the questions are a little inane and multiple choice, but do you know what? It requires little thought and helps with the filtering process. I've already excluded one guy on the basis that he thought a steak house was a suitable location for a meal out...
My other discovery relates to a previous post. You know I said women shouldn't post photos of them with children? Well men totally should! I spotted one guy who looked promising (he's into publishing and is currently writing a musical) and then found a photo of him with a baby - I practically swooned. [And if anyone is reading that description and thinking: "Erm, writing a musical? Are you sure you're the right gender for him?", fear not, I have highly advanced gaydar...
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I'm dropping Mr Long Replyer. It feels mean, but my heart's not in it, so that's final. I really just need to remember to e-mail him before my subscription runs out.
Some things remain the same...amongst my current matches I've spotted one guy that was also on Christian Connections. Spooky.
So, now that I have full rights, I've been making the most of it and firing off 'communications' left, right and centre. Whilst the computerisation might feel impersonal, it's actually way easier to express interest in people. No awkward first e-mails - simply a 'guided communication' consisting of 5 questions.
Yes, the questions are a little inane and multiple choice, but do you know what? It requires little thought and helps with the filtering process. I've already excluded one guy on the basis that he thought a steak house was a suitable location for a meal out...
My other discovery relates to a previous post. You know I said women shouldn't post photos of them with children? Well men totally should! I spotted one guy who looked promising (he's into publishing and is currently writing a musical) and then found a photo of him with a baby - I practically swooned. [And if anyone is reading that description and thinking: "Erm, writing a musical? Are you sure you're the right gender for him?", fear not, I have highly advanced gaydar...
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I'm dropping Mr Long Replyer. It feels mean, but my heart's not in it, so that's final. I really just need to remember to e-mail him before my subscription runs out.
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Over-enthusiasm
Just as I was starting to feel guilty that my lack-lustre e-mail to Mr Long Replyer had offended him to the extent that he was scared off completely I received another lengthy epistle...
It's at least five paragraphs long, although I've not read it properly. I saw its length and promptly gave up on reading it! (It should be noted that at the time I was in a an extreme state of tiredness following a weekend away, I wasn't simply being flighty.) The thing is, his last e-mail - entitled 'knock, knock' and querying why I'd not replied to his first post-date communication - was rather intense in terms of content. Apparently if he had my number he'd have phoned by now. It's all getting a bit much and I'm even less inclined to go for a second date than I was initially.
Also, and this says a lot for the way my mind works, I've taken against him because (despite not reading it properly) I noticed that four of the five paragraphs within his e-mail began with the word 'so'. Clearly my dating choices are now being governed by good grammar as well as my heart...
In other news, I'm becoming less attracted to eHarmony owing to the number of 'flexible matches' it's sent me in recent days. These are men who don't quite meet my criteria - usually because they're above 35 or live outside London. I can be flexible to the extent of Reading, Oxford or Brighton, but not Rotherham or Londonderry! It does make me wonder if after the initial flurry of good matches, this is all the computer has left for me and thus I'm still in a quandary as to whether hand over any cash to them if this is the quality of match I can expect.
Oh, and they matched me with a guy who played in a bugle band. I know I said I like music, but I'm not sure a bugle band qualifies!
It's at least five paragraphs long, although I've not read it properly. I saw its length and promptly gave up on reading it! (It should be noted that at the time I was in a an extreme state of tiredness following a weekend away, I wasn't simply being flighty.) The thing is, his last e-mail - entitled 'knock, knock' and querying why I'd not replied to his first post-date communication - was rather intense in terms of content. Apparently if he had my number he'd have phoned by now. It's all getting a bit much and I'm even less inclined to go for a second date than I was initially.
Also, and this says a lot for the way my mind works, I've taken against him because (despite not reading it properly) I noticed that four of the five paragraphs within his e-mail began with the word 'so'. Clearly my dating choices are now being governed by good grammar as well as my heart...
In other news, I'm becoming less attracted to eHarmony owing to the number of 'flexible matches' it's sent me in recent days. These are men who don't quite meet my criteria - usually because they're above 35 or live outside London. I can be flexible to the extent of Reading, Oxford or Brighton, but not Rotherham or Londonderry! It does make me wonder if after the initial flurry of good matches, this is all the computer has left for me and thus I'm still in a quandary as to whether hand over any cash to them if this is the quality of match I can expect.
Oh, and they matched me with a guy who played in a bugle band. I know I said I like music, but I'm not sure a bugle band qualifies!
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
The power of Google
One other thing:
It looks as though Mr Long Replyer is now following my blog and tweets. How do I know this? Let me explain...
I use analytics that tell me who's visited my blog(s) and I'm quite obsessed with the stats for my 'real' blog - I love knowing who's reading, where they're from and how they found me.
On Saturday night I spotted someone who'd googled me (it also tells me, if they used google, what search terms were used), using an iPhone located in London. They'd got to the blog and spent a little time browsing. The same ISP returned a couple of days later, this time via a link I'd posted on Twitter the week before. Tonight, the same visitor has returned.
You could say I'm paranoid, or that I have scary stalker tendencies - to be honest both could be true. The thing is, I wrote two long(ish) posts on days when I could have been replying to his e-mail. Days I've told him were quite full, hence my non-replying. But there's a big difference between knocking off a quick post and carefully crafting a considered e-mail. So now I feel mean, and that he thinks I've been lying.
Plus, I'm now slightly freaked out that he's googled me. (But yes, if I actually knew what his surname was I totally would have googled him too, all my own fault for giving away my highly unusual surname and the fact that I write a blog - curses!)
It looks as though Mr Long Replyer is now following my blog and tweets. How do I know this? Let me explain...
I use analytics that tell me who's visited my blog(s) and I'm quite obsessed with the stats for my 'real' blog - I love knowing who's reading, where they're from and how they found me.
On Saturday night I spotted someone who'd googled me (it also tells me, if they used google, what search terms were used), using an iPhone located in London. They'd got to the blog and spent a little time browsing. The same ISP returned a couple of days later, this time via a link I'd posted on Twitter the week before. Tonight, the same visitor has returned.
You could say I'm paranoid, or that I have scary stalker tendencies - to be honest both could be true. The thing is, I wrote two long(ish) posts on days when I could have been replying to his e-mail. Days I've told him were quite full, hence my non-replying. But there's a big difference between knocking off a quick post and carefully crafting a considered e-mail. So now I feel mean, and that he thinks I've been lying.
Plus, I'm now slightly freaked out that he's googled me. (But yes, if I actually knew what his surname was I totally would have googled him too, all my own fault for giving away my highly unusual surname and the fact that I write a blog - curses!)
Love via personality quiz
I finally replied to Mr Long Replyer last night offering many (lame) apologies and a tentative 'yes' to a second meeting - we'll see whether he picks up any of my not sure vibes and responds. As a bit of a cop-out I threw in the fact that I'm away for the next two weekends - totally true - but sounds like a cop-out.
Generally I'm feeling disillusioned with the Christian site. Not enough men who seem interesting, or rather, not enough who will actually reply to my tentative introductory e-mails! One of the things I've realised is that while I want a good Christian man, I also want someone with 'edge' - an interesting dimension, something that I connect with. It's hard define but easy to spot its absence! In fact, as if to emphasise Friday's lack of edge, on Saturday I ran into a previous dalliance who has edge aplenty but is a definite no (on so, so many levels) but it seemed as though the timing and manner of our encounter were judged perfectly so that I'd be even less inclined towards Mr Long Replyer.
So, I've cancelled my continuous membership and am looking elsewhere...
First stop is eHarmony, of smiling couples on tube adverts fame. I'd be sceptical about its claims (over 200 American marriages every minute) if it weren't for the fact that a dear friend (incredibly attractive and lovely friend) in DC met her current boyfriend through it and is blissfully happy. True, Girl Glory hasn't been having such a fun time, but a chance conversation with new church friend on Sunday was also encouraging. She'd recently broken up with someone from the site - hang on, writing it down that doesn't sound quite so encouraging! But she said it was much better than other sites she'd tried.
True, the endless questions that form your profile are a trial, but in some ways a little revealing. The tiny opportunities it gives you to show your true colours need to be maximised. In my case, this means including pilates, cupcakes & living in London on my list of 5 things I'm thankful for. (If you're wondering about the other two, that would be my faith and friends & family - see totally normal things too!)
I like the fact that you don't have to hunt through profiles, simply being sent several matches a day. My first batch of five were pretty good and a further two guys have been in touch already (since lunch time). I've just got to decide whether to take the plunge and hand over cash. My Christian site membership expires in just over a week, so then I decide whether to pay for eHarmony or Soulmates...choices, choices.
Generally I'm feeling disillusioned with the Christian site. Not enough men who seem interesting, or rather, not enough who will actually reply to my tentative introductory e-mails! One of the things I've realised is that while I want a good Christian man, I also want someone with 'edge' - an interesting dimension, something that I connect with. It's hard define but easy to spot its absence! In fact, as if to emphasise Friday's lack of edge, on Saturday I ran into a previous dalliance who has edge aplenty but is a definite no (on so, so many levels) but it seemed as though the timing and manner of our encounter were judged perfectly so that I'd be even less inclined towards Mr Long Replyer.
So, I've cancelled my continuous membership and am looking elsewhere...
First stop is eHarmony, of smiling couples on tube adverts fame. I'd be sceptical about its claims (over 200 American marriages every minute) if it weren't for the fact that a dear friend (incredibly attractive and lovely friend) in DC met her current boyfriend through it and is blissfully happy. True, Girl Glory hasn't been having such a fun time, but a chance conversation with new church friend on Sunday was also encouraging. She'd recently broken up with someone from the site - hang on, writing it down that doesn't sound quite so encouraging! But she said it was much better than other sites she'd tried.
True, the endless questions that form your profile are a trial, but in some ways a little revealing. The tiny opportunities it gives you to show your true colours need to be maximised. In my case, this means including pilates, cupcakes & living in London on my list of 5 things I'm thankful for. (If you're wondering about the other two, that would be my faith and friends & family - see totally normal things too!)
I like the fact that you don't have to hunt through profiles, simply being sent several matches a day. My first batch of five were pretty good and a further two guys have been in touch already (since lunch time). I've just got to decide whether to take the plunge and hand over cash. My Christian site membership expires in just over a week, so then I decide whether to pay for eHarmony or Soulmates...choices, choices.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Post date-night
How I wish there was an hilarious story to tell about Friday - there really isn't.
It was fine. We met at 7pm, said goodbye shortly after 11.30pm and there were no awkward silences. On paper that sounds like a resounding success.
However...I didn't fancy him. He was a bit old for my liking and he seemed to lack 'edge'. He was very nice, we talked about theology, politics, church, university etc, but there was little comedy. Unsurprisingly, within half an hour we'd identified some mutual friends/acquaintances.
As we parted company he asked if I'd be interested in seeing him again. This caught me slightly by surprise so I failed to come up with a coherent reply, but generally indicating the affirmative. At the time my attitude was that I ought to give him a second chance.
That attitude diminished an hour later when I had not one, but two e-mails from him on the dating site. I didn't read them (I like to wait a while between notification and reading because the sneaky site will tell the sender when you read it!) but I wondered about their contents. E-mailing straight away would make him pretty keen.
After a busy weekend, I finally read them yesterday morning - turns out the second was a duplicate of the first, so less scary. I meant to reply last night, but forgot because I was caught up with watching Glee. Oops. This morning, another e-mail - I've not read it yet, but as it's also from him, I'm guessing it's a 'why haven't you replied yet' kind of e-mail. Oh dear. Now I really don't know how to respond. Second chance or no second chance?
It was fine. We met at 7pm, said goodbye shortly after 11.30pm and there were no awkward silences. On paper that sounds like a resounding success.
However...I didn't fancy him. He was a bit old for my liking and he seemed to lack 'edge'. He was very nice, we talked about theology, politics, church, university etc, but there was little comedy. Unsurprisingly, within half an hour we'd identified some mutual friends/acquaintances.
As we parted company he asked if I'd be interested in seeing him again. This caught me slightly by surprise so I failed to come up with a coherent reply, but generally indicating the affirmative. At the time my attitude was that I ought to give him a second chance.
That attitude diminished an hour later when I had not one, but two e-mails from him on the dating site. I didn't read them (I like to wait a while between notification and reading because the sneaky site will tell the sender when you read it!) but I wondered about their contents. E-mailing straight away would make him pretty keen.
After a busy weekend, I finally read them yesterday morning - turns out the second was a duplicate of the first, so less scary. I meant to reply last night, but forgot because I was caught up with watching Glee. Oops. This morning, another e-mail - I've not read it yet, but as it's also from him, I'm guessing it's a 'why haven't you replied yet' kind of e-mail. Oh dear. Now I really don't know how to respond. Second chance or no second chance?
Friday, 21 May 2010
Friday night is...
...date night.
Weird.
I have a date.
I have an actual date.
Not even 'just drinks', but dinner. At a nice location. Not just nice, one of my favourite London locations.
Scary.
I take that back. I'm not scared - apprehensive and a little excited, yes - but not scared. Me and Mr Long Replyer have been getting on famously via e-mail, so I'm optimistic that conversation shouldn't flag.
Should I be worried that I find jokes about grammar endearing? Mr L-R cracked a joke about a semi-colon the other day and I literally laughed out loud. Got to love a guy who knows how to use a semi-colon correctly!
The bigger question is what to wear. It's going to be hot, but shouldn't I be careful not to inadvertently expose too much skin and scare him off? Are my feet ready for a public viewing from someone who I want to impress? Hmmmm. Important dilemmas...
Weird.
I have a date.
I have an actual date.
Not even 'just drinks', but dinner. At a nice location. Not just nice, one of my favourite London locations.
Scary.
I take that back. I'm not scared - apprehensive and a little excited, yes - but not scared. Me and Mr Long Replyer have been getting on famously via e-mail, so I'm optimistic that conversation shouldn't flag.
Should I be worried that I find jokes about grammar endearing? Mr L-R cracked a joke about a semi-colon the other day and I literally laughed out loud. Got to love a guy who knows how to use a semi-colon correctly!
The bigger question is what to wear. It's going to be hot, but shouldn't I be careful not to inadvertently expose too much skin and scare him off? Are my feet ready for a public viewing from someone who I want to impress? Hmmmm. Important dilemmas...
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Things you don't need to read
I am fascinated by the approach some men take to their profile composition.
Recently I came across a guy who's profile was hilarious - literally one comedy remark after another - nothing was taken seriously. Yes, his comments about tea amused me. Particularly:
"Why do we add extra letters onto the end of the word "tea" when just the first letter would create exactly the same sound? Is this the only instance of a silent "ea" in the English language?"
Recently I came across a guy who's profile was hilarious - literally one comedy remark after another - nothing was taken seriously. Yes, his comments about tea amused me. Particularly:
"Why do we add extra letters onto the end of the word "tea" when just the first letter would create exactly the same sound? Is this the only instance of a silent "ea" in the English language?"
However, not being serious about anything at all in fact had me wondering whether he was a deranged psychopath to be avoided at all costs.
Or what about the guys who manage to alternate between saying things that you love: "I'm looking for a girl who likes to be a bit girly and enjoys hugs, I like hugging"; and things that make you run to the hills: "I think women should fulfil their traditional role in the home"?
And then there's the "I've decided it's time I found a wife" men. I'm very glad that they've made such an important decision in their life and are being intentional about it, but really, on a dating site a woman's going to want a little more info on a potential husband other than that he reckons he's ready to settle down. After all, if my profile simply contained the phrase: "I've decided it's time I got married and I believe God has promised me a good husband" then I believe most men wouldn't give me a second look!
Oh, and my personal favourite gem from a profile: "I'd like to live in a yurt in the country at some point" I'm still trying to compose an e-mail to that guy at the moment, maybe I should open with "I've always wanted to live in a yurt..."
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Judgy Judgerson
There is nothing like online dating to reveal to yourself just how judging you are of others - and how, deep down, you're actually phenomenally shallow.
I'll only look at men who've bothered posting pictures. Within those, I'll only actually read the profiles of guys I find moderately attractive. Is this bad?
Actually, to make myself sound less bad, years ago when I dabbled in a free dating site, I went on a date with a guy whose photo I'd never seen. It was fine - he was perfectly nice, gentlemanly (took me to the opera) and not unattractive - but I didn't fancy him.
Oh, and I have the audacity to judge people on their names, despite the fact that no one can really do anything about what their parents name them! 'Glen'? Oh dear... [Although it's even worse when an anorak is included in the profile photo.]
And as for my photo? Oh, soooooo much thought had to go into that one! Thank goodness it gives you the opportunity to include three - allows you space for something showing your hair colour as well as a moody black and white shot.
You do need to think carefully about what your photo says about you:
Smiles - always good, as long as you don't look possessed.
Children - not good, tends to give the wrong impression. [As does that pic of you being a bridesmaid for the umpteenth time.]
Hair - choose photos that reflect your hairstyle of choice. If you flit between curly and straight include both so that potential suitors are aware of what you might look like should you meet.
Comedy - not good for your main photo, but excellent as an alternative. A friend joined the Christian site at the same time as me and included a picture of her rope swinging, which has already proved to be an excellent opener in e-mails from interested guys.
It's making me wonder if perhaps the Christian site is a little limited for my clearly judging nature. Can I really afford to be so picky?
I'll only look at men who've bothered posting pictures. Within those, I'll only actually read the profiles of guys I find moderately attractive. Is this bad?
Actually, to make myself sound less bad, years ago when I dabbled in a free dating site, I went on a date with a guy whose photo I'd never seen. It was fine - he was perfectly nice, gentlemanly (took me to the opera) and not unattractive - but I didn't fancy him.
Oh, and I have the audacity to judge people on their names, despite the fact that no one can really do anything about what their parents name them! 'Glen'? Oh dear... [Although it's even worse when an anorak is included in the profile photo.]
And as for my photo? Oh, soooooo much thought had to go into that one! Thank goodness it gives you the opportunity to include three - allows you space for something showing your hair colour as well as a moody black and white shot.
You do need to think carefully about what your photo says about you:
Smiles - always good, as long as you don't look possessed.
Children - not good, tends to give the wrong impression. [As does that pic of you being a bridesmaid for the umpteenth time.]
Hair - choose photos that reflect your hairstyle of choice. If you flit between curly and straight include both so that potential suitors are aware of what you might look like should you meet.
Comedy - not good for your main photo, but excellent as an alternative. A friend joined the Christian site at the same time as me and included a picture of her rope swinging, which has already proved to be an excellent opener in e-mails from interested guys.
It's making me wonder if perhaps the Christian site is a little limited for my clearly judging nature. Can I really afford to be so picky?
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Writer's block and Verbal Diarrhoea
Why is it that the first e-mail is always the hardest?
You scan profiles, trying not to sound too lame, trying to come up with a more ingenius subject than 'Hello'.
You angst for minutes over how to end it and whether to sign off with a kiss.
Then you wait - interminably - for a reply.
So far, I've sent three e-mails and yet only one guy's responded. And they're Christians! Hmph.
When a reply does arrive, the temptation is to reply immediately - especially if you're someone like me who tends to forget to reply if you leave it too long.
With Mr Long Replyer, I spent a couple of hours composing an eloquent reply (well, I was distracted by things like Facebook chat, blog stats, a skype call and a change of government...) and within hours had another very long response - followed by a one sentence follow up the next morning! Impressive.
But, I'm a writer. I find answering questions about myself very easy - it's why I'm committed to blog writing, surely the most narcissistic past-time there is! I know I can write well, amusingly, interestingly - it doesn't take a lot of effort. [And that's not me being big-headed, honest!] My fear is that I won't live up to it in the flesh.
Plus, I know from past experience that I can build up really good relationships via the written word that don't quite match in practice - like the friend who I couldn't stand in person, yet via blogging and e-mailing we became close friends. Weird.
Oh well, there is now one actual date on the cards. Well, it's been suggested and I've agreed that it sounds like a good idea - an actual date in the diary is yet to be established.
In the mean time, I'll get back to the e-mail I started writing 2 hours ago. Unsurprisingly, it's another of the 'firsts', very tricky.
You scan profiles, trying not to sound too lame, trying to come up with a more ingenius subject than 'Hello'.
You angst for minutes over how to end it and whether to sign off with a kiss.
Then you wait - interminably - for a reply.
So far, I've sent three e-mails and yet only one guy's responded. And they're Christians! Hmph.
When a reply does arrive, the temptation is to reply immediately - especially if you're someone like me who tends to forget to reply if you leave it too long.
With Mr Long Replyer, I spent a couple of hours composing an eloquent reply (well, I was distracted by things like Facebook chat, blog stats, a skype call and a change of government...) and within hours had another very long response - followed by a one sentence follow up the next morning! Impressive.
But, I'm a writer. I find answering questions about myself very easy - it's why I'm committed to blog writing, surely the most narcissistic past-time there is! I know I can write well, amusingly, interestingly - it doesn't take a lot of effort. [And that's not me being big-headed, honest!] My fear is that I won't live up to it in the flesh.
Plus, I know from past experience that I can build up really good relationships via the written word that don't quite match in practice - like the friend who I couldn't stand in person, yet via blogging and e-mailing we became close friends. Weird.
Oh well, there is now one actual date on the cards. Well, it's been suggested and I've agreed that it sounds like a good idea - an actual date in the diary is yet to be established.
In the mean time, I'll get back to the e-mail I started writing 2 hours ago. Unsurprisingly, it's another of the 'firsts', very tricky.
Excitement?
So, the Christian guy who replied to my e-mail on Saturday turned out to have written a veritable essay! I was very impressed, whilst also slightly intimidated by his reading calibre. Top class theologians? Check.
This evening I spent a considerable amount of time reading and replying - only for another (almost as long) reply to arrive before I got to bed. Very, very impressive. I think we get on, we obviously have similar interests, so perhaps meeting in person would be a very logical next step.
My only worry is that his e-mail ticked a lot of boxes that Good Male Friend ticks - they seem very similar and I'm wondering if the only reason I'm interested in this guy is because I'm almost imagining that it's GMF writing the e-mails. Oh well, I suppose it can't do any harm to go on a date and see what happens!
This evening I spent a considerable amount of time reading and replying - only for another (almost as long) reply to arrive before I got to bed. Very, very impressive. I think we get on, we obviously have similar interests, so perhaps meeting in person would be a very logical next step.
My only worry is that his e-mail ticked a lot of boxes that Good Male Friend ticks - they seem very similar and I'm wondering if the only reason I'm interested in this guy is because I'm almost imagining that it's GMF writing the e-mails. Oh well, I suppose it can't do any harm to go on a date and see what happens!
Sunday, 9 May 2010
An internet dating whore
Before this project even began, I already belonged to one dating site (for free) that I'd never really bothered with. In the space of the last week, I've joined two more - one Christian, one non-Christian.
Today, I had some new mail on the Christian site (one random, one a reply) and my first message on the non-Christian one (unfortunately I can't reply as I've not paid money yet). Things are progressing...
The form-filling is frustrating though. How are you meant to sell yourself to total strangers? How can you tick a box describing yourself as 'attractive' - isn't that just big headedness? For Guardian Soulmates, I had to come up with a cheesy line that summed me up. After a bit of discussion with another single friend, I went with "Fun-loving girl seeks intellectual guy for witty banter and debate". Nice and simple - and true.
So now I guess I wait and see what happens. Maybe I'll pay up on the Guardian and experiment with both concurrently. Perhaps I'll see what happens after a month with the Christians...
Today, I had some new mail on the Christian site (one random, one a reply) and my first message on the non-Christian one (unfortunately I can't reply as I've not paid money yet). Things are progressing...
The form-filling is frustrating though. How are you meant to sell yourself to total strangers? How can you tick a box describing yourself as 'attractive' - isn't that just big headedness? For Guardian Soulmates, I had to come up with a cheesy line that summed me up. After a bit of discussion with another single friend, I went with "Fun-loving girl seeks intellectual guy for witty banter and debate". Nice and simple - and true.
So now I guess I wait and see what happens. Maybe I'll pay up on the Guardian and experiment with both concurrently. Perhaps I'll see what happens after a month with the Christians...
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Dropping lines
Toes have been dipped in the online dating pool...
My first experiment is with Christian dating - figured that would be the safest place to begin. My previous experiments in this world were all on free sites. I acquired one date (perfectly nice, included some opera, but I didn't fancy him), a lot of weirdos and one incredibly comedy situation resulting from Christian small-world-ness. But I have a theory that if you actually pay for one of these sites you'll have more invested in it and thus will find a better class of man.
So, I've handed over money to a site that last year spawned two marriages in my church alone. A trial membership showed up a few possibilities (including one guy from church - intriguing) and I'm now giving it a month to see what happens.
Two e-mails have been sent to viable possibilities.
Two e-mails have been received from distinct non-possibilities.
One profile has been spotted that's looking for a woman with 'classic Biblical femininity'. I can't even begin to know where to begin with that one...
My only nagging concern is that all I'm looking for is a replica of Good Male Friend who is almost perfect in many ways, except that he doesn't want us to be more than friends. Hmmmmm. At least I'm moving on in a practical way!
My first experiment is with Christian dating - figured that would be the safest place to begin. My previous experiments in this world were all on free sites. I acquired one date (perfectly nice, included some opera, but I didn't fancy him), a lot of weirdos and one incredibly comedy situation resulting from Christian small-world-ness. But I have a theory that if you actually pay for one of these sites you'll have more invested in it and thus will find a better class of man.
So, I've handed over money to a site that last year spawned two marriages in my church alone. A trial membership showed up a few possibilities (including one guy from church - intriguing) and I'm now giving it a month to see what happens.
Two e-mails have been sent to viable possibilities.
Two e-mails have been received from distinct non-possibilities.
One profile has been spotted that's looking for a woman with 'classic Biblical femininity'. I can't even begin to know where to begin with that one...
My only nagging concern is that all I'm looking for is a replica of Good Male Friend who is almost perfect in many ways, except that he doesn't want us to be more than friends. Hmmmmm. At least I'm moving on in a practical way!
The beginning
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again...
As my success rate is effectively zero, a lot of trying again has happened and needs to happen.
Perhaps I've not actually been trying hard enough.
Maybe I've spent far too much time chasing after un-gettable men.
Quite possibly I've not actually been in the right place for a relationship.
Anyway, following on from the latest disastrous crush (on Good Male Friend) being confirmed as nothing more than (another) overly complicated male-female relationship, I decided to leap into the world of online dating.
Having been inspired by a fellow Christian singleton, I figured blogging about it might just help me derive some amusement from my adventures, or provide some guidance to others entering the fray.
Who knows where it will go...
As my success rate is effectively zero, a lot of trying again has happened and needs to happen.
Perhaps I've not actually been trying hard enough.
Maybe I've spent far too much time chasing after un-gettable men.
Quite possibly I've not actually been in the right place for a relationship.
Anyway, following on from the latest disastrous crush (on Good Male Friend) being confirmed as nothing more than (another) overly complicated male-female relationship, I decided to leap into the world of online dating.
Having been inspired by a fellow Christian singleton, I figured blogging about it might just help me derive some amusement from my adventures, or provide some guidance to others entering the fray.
Who knows where it will go...
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