Firstly, the June 12th deadline came and went (in fact, I think the challenger forgot about it) and nothing happened. I went on no dates - well, unless you count an invite to lunch with a not-unattractive future male colleague who then paid the bill? (I don't.)
Secondly, it looks as though I might be going on holiday with Mr Long Replyer. No, not a romantic getaway - just an occurrence resulting from our colliding social circles. In fact, I saw him relatively recently and did the incredibly mature thing of ignoring him completely. This bodes really well for a week's vacation...
Thirdly, I had lunch today with a friend of a friend who not only is the girl who went on a date with Guardian Man last summer (after he gave me the cold shoulder), but also went on a date with Mr Long Replyer about 4 weeks before I did. Plus, it turns out that Guardian Man and Mr Long Replyer are friends. People, it seems that that basically there are so few single men in the Christian world that basically you know all of them and they all know each other too. Terrifying.
Fourthly, a good friend of mine went on a date with a guy from eHarmony a couple of weeks ago - good for her! Sadly it was a trifle dull and she won't be looking for a second meeting, but amusingly, that very same day he appeared in a list of possible matches that Christian Connections sent me. I promptly checked his profile to see if it was the same guy - it was - but this viewing would have shown up on his account (sneaky dating websites) and the following day he 'waved' at me. Rather irrationally I branded him a player...
Fifthly, it's wedding season. Life is incredibly depressing.
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Challenge
It's been all quiet on the dating front lately - from my perspective at least. However, it appears that the guys at church may finally be getting their act together (though sadly this included Fit Barman getting his act together with someone who is not me).
Sunday night, after church, I found myself embroiled in two consecutive conversations with two different men about the pros and cons of the dating field, especially in a church context. Guy 1 was contemplating a third date with someone and was wondering whether it was appropriate to go in for a pash (he's an Aussie so therefore doesn't use the hideous 'snog') - I think our conclusion was that it was ok, providing he actually liked the girl. He reckoned that guys had got an unjustified bad reputation for not stepping up to the mark and asking girls out, when in fact they are willing to do just that.
His point was supported by Guy 2, who had been on a date the day before. In fact, he was so incensed that the three girls he was chatting with were date-less, that he issued us with a challenge - to have gone on at least one date in the next month. Our deadline is June 12th - the nearest Sunday. We accepted, though I can't help but feel it's a challenge I'm unlikely to succeed in. One of the three is kind of seeing someone, and depending on how that turns out, she'll complete the challenge. The other one's about to go off on holiday, so who knows what will happen there. Suffice to say that I have the worst dating record of the trio.
Still, it's a challenge and I like to rise to them. A month is a long time...
Sunday night, after church, I found myself embroiled in two consecutive conversations with two different men about the pros and cons of the dating field, especially in a church context. Guy 1 was contemplating a third date with someone and was wondering whether it was appropriate to go in for a pash (he's an Aussie so therefore doesn't use the hideous 'snog') - I think our conclusion was that it was ok, providing he actually liked the girl. He reckoned that guys had got an unjustified bad reputation for not stepping up to the mark and asking girls out, when in fact they are willing to do just that.
His point was supported by Guy 2, who had been on a date the day before. In fact, he was so incensed that the three girls he was chatting with were date-less, that he issued us with a challenge - to have gone on at least one date in the next month. Our deadline is June 12th - the nearest Sunday. We accepted, though I can't help but feel it's a challenge I'm unlikely to succeed in. One of the three is kind of seeing someone, and depending on how that turns out, she'll complete the challenge. The other one's about to go off on holiday, so who knows what will happen there. Suffice to say that I have the worst dating record of the trio.
Still, it's a challenge and I like to rise to them. A month is a long time...
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Bad dates
How I love stories of dire dates...
Tonight an old friend told me of two classics. The first was a fresh (very fresh) example - from today, in fact. She was late to our dinner with a mutual friend because she'd been with a friend in a cafe when their laptop was stolen earlier in the afternoon. Once she arrived, it emerged that this hadn't simply been coffee with a friend, it was actually a first date. How awful! She felt really bad, not least because not only had he lost his laptop, but she also didn't think she liked him more than a friend.
Later, we shared further dating stories, while our mutual friend (married for over four years) sat back and thanked her lucky stars that she was no longer on the dating scene. The worst story went something like this:
Friend of the laptop theft had been set up by her parents (yes, her parents - for the first and last time) and from the moment she met the guy it wasn't likely to go well as he was significantly (i.e. more than a foot) shorter than her. She persisted for her parents' sake and rejected his dinner suggestion in favour of coffee. In the cafe, he ordered and didn't bother asking her if she wanted anything (even the waitress was surprised), so she bought her own drink. [Btw, we don't have issues with paying our own way on dates, but it's just coffee - surely it's mean not to even offer?] Then, the opening question from him was: "so, you googled me, right?".
No, no she hadn't. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. I mean, I'd do if I knew the full name of the person in advance (which isn't often the case with online dating or when I matchmaked by The Matchmaker), but I wouldn't tell them I'd done it! It turns out that she's not particularly tech-savvy, so I'm going to have to give her a lesson on the importance of googling oneself at regular intervals, but needless to say this topic of conversation freaked her out a bit. The date didn't last much long than a very quick caffeine injection and her parents probably won't ever be able to set her up with someone again.
Tonight an old friend told me of two classics. The first was a fresh (very fresh) example - from today, in fact. She was late to our dinner with a mutual friend because she'd been with a friend in a cafe when their laptop was stolen earlier in the afternoon. Once she arrived, it emerged that this hadn't simply been coffee with a friend, it was actually a first date. How awful! She felt really bad, not least because not only had he lost his laptop, but she also didn't think she liked him more than a friend.
Later, we shared further dating stories, while our mutual friend (married for over four years) sat back and thanked her lucky stars that she was no longer on the dating scene. The worst story went something like this:
Friend of the laptop theft had been set up by her parents (yes, her parents - for the first and last time) and from the moment she met the guy it wasn't likely to go well as he was significantly (i.e. more than a foot) shorter than her. She persisted for her parents' sake and rejected his dinner suggestion in favour of coffee. In the cafe, he ordered and didn't bother asking her if she wanted anything (even the waitress was surprised), so she bought her own drink. [Btw, we don't have issues with paying our own way on dates, but it's just coffee - surely it's mean not to even offer?] Then, the opening question from him was: "so, you googled me, right?".
No, no she hadn't. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. I mean, I'd do if I knew the full name of the person in advance (which isn't often the case with online dating or when I matchmaked by The Matchmaker), but I wouldn't tell them I'd done it! It turns out that she's not particularly tech-savvy, so I'm going to have to give her a lesson on the importance of googling oneself at regular intervals, but needless to say this topic of conversation freaked her out a bit. The date didn't last much long than a very quick caffeine injection and her parents probably won't ever be able to set her up with someone again.
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Matchmaking at work
It comes to something when one of the (many) e-mails you discover upon returning to work after a holiday, is from a colleague asking you to share dates when you might be able to come round for dinner. This might be a nice thing, except this particular colleague has been badgering you for ages about this particular rendezvous, as they'd like to set you up with someone...
This, of course, is a terribly nice thing - wanting you to meet someone you might like and live happily ever after with - but at the same time, this is matchmaking in the workplace, and this can get awkward...
Like the colleague mentioning the guy she has in mind during team meetings or coffee breaks, so that before long, every single person on the floor is aware that she's plotting to matchmake me. And the 'date' itself would be awkward - in her house, with her family (who I've not met), with someone she describes as a 'second son'. If I don't like him, this is going to get tricky.
But one of my colleagues thinks this is great - they'd like me to do it just so I can report back on what will invariably (according to them) an hilarious evening. I suppose I've got nothing to lose, but this does seem to be an awkward clash of personal life and work life.
This, of course, is a terribly nice thing - wanting you to meet someone you might like and live happily ever after with - but at the same time, this is matchmaking in the workplace, and this can get awkward...
Like the colleague mentioning the guy she has in mind during team meetings or coffee breaks, so that before long, every single person on the floor is aware that she's plotting to matchmake me. And the 'date' itself would be awkward - in her house, with her family (who I've not met), with someone she describes as a 'second son'. If I don't like him, this is going to get tricky.
But one of my colleagues thinks this is great - they'd like me to do it just so I can report back on what will invariably (according to them) an hilarious evening. I suppose I've got nothing to lose, but this does seem to be an awkward clash of personal life and work life.
Friday, 25 February 2011
Blind Date
Blind dates are weird. Good weird, but weird nonetheless.
Last night passed off successfully. 'Successfully' in that my date was not atrocious - in fact he was amusing, interesting and we talked for a significant length of time. There was pre-dinner drinks (thanks to a long table wait), dinner and post-dinner drinks. In the process we established just how ridiculous it was that we'd never met before given the number of mutual friends we have at church.
Then, rather embarrassingly, he worked out that we'd both sung in the church choir at Christmas. I have no memory of him, which means that I didn't think he was particularly attractive - there was only a small number of men and I watched them closely as I like singing men. I'm not sure that I found him particularly attractive this time - but then I do have slightly unpredictable taste in men and even ones that I've loved dearly I've not actually thought was hot.
As an aside, is it random that mid-way through the date, apropros of nothing, I was asked if I found Colin Firth hot? I'm not even sure what the right answer to this question would have been! [If you're interested, I said that I didn't find him particularly hot, that Guy Pearce was hotter in The King's Speech, that I'm not someone who swooned at the white shirt scene in P&P but that I did love him as Mr Darcy in Bridget Jones.]
One final thing, I fear that my date may have lacked the mysterious 'edge' I'm looking for. It's an unquantifiable quality, but it's always clear when it's absent. I think I noticed it was missing during a conversation about Black Swan...
Anyway, the point of the date was not suddenly fall head over heels in love with someone, it was to get men and women socialising and getting to know each other - if further dating follows, that's a bonus. Plus, now I have a new friend to say hello to at church. Hopefully The Matchmaker will suggest another blind date soon.
Last night passed off successfully. 'Successfully' in that my date was not atrocious - in fact he was amusing, interesting and we talked for a significant length of time. There was pre-dinner drinks (thanks to a long table wait), dinner and post-dinner drinks. In the process we established just how ridiculous it was that we'd never met before given the number of mutual friends we have at church.
Then, rather embarrassingly, he worked out that we'd both sung in the church choir at Christmas. I have no memory of him, which means that I didn't think he was particularly attractive - there was only a small number of men and I watched them closely as I like singing men. I'm not sure that I found him particularly attractive this time - but then I do have slightly unpredictable taste in men and even ones that I've loved dearly I've not actually thought was hot.
As an aside, is it random that mid-way through the date, apropros of nothing, I was asked if I found Colin Firth hot? I'm not even sure what the right answer to this question would have been! [If you're interested, I said that I didn't find him particularly hot, that Guy Pearce was hotter in The King's Speech, that I'm not someone who swooned at the white shirt scene in P&P but that I did love him as Mr Darcy in Bridget Jones.]
One final thing, I fear that my date may have lacked the mysterious 'edge' I'm looking for. It's an unquantifiable quality, but it's always clear when it's absent. I think I noticed it was missing during a conversation about Black Swan...
Anyway, the point of the date was not suddenly fall head over heels in love with someone, it was to get men and women socialising and getting to know each other - if further dating follows, that's a bonus. Plus, now I have a new friend to say hello to at church. Hopefully The Matchmaker will suggest another blind date soon.
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Postponement
How disappointing. The Matchmaker has just texted to say that my date needs to postpone till next week. It's a shame, but the text she forwarded from him was suitably apologetic and lovely, so that's ok.
I realised the other day that this is the first time I've ever been on a totally blind date - i.e. with no idea of what the other person looks like, does, is interested in...nothing. I like firsts! Literally all I know is where he goes to church and that we have mutual friends. Bizarre.
In other positives, while I'm still holding firm to the 'no checking on Facebook' rule, I did mention his name to a friend at church this week. Her response was more than reassuring - "Oooooh, interesting! I'm impressed, that's a surprisingly good match...". I'm not getting excited by this, it's more to do with her having previous experience of The Matchmaker's good intentions than anything else.
Another bonus of the delay is that it gives me more time to work out what to wear, how to blow-dry my new (two day old) haircut properly and possibly buy some new shoes. Fun times.
I realised the other day that this is the first time I've ever been on a totally blind date - i.e. with no idea of what the other person looks like, does, is interested in...nothing. I like firsts! Literally all I know is where he goes to church and that we have mutual friends. Bizarre.
In other positives, while I'm still holding firm to the 'no checking on Facebook' rule, I did mention his name to a friend at church this week. Her response was more than reassuring - "Oooooh, interesting! I'm impressed, that's a surprisingly good match...". I'm not getting excited by this, it's more to do with her having previous experience of The Matchmaker's good intentions than anything else.
Another bonus of the delay is that it gives me more time to work out what to wear, how to blow-dry my new (two day old) haircut properly and possibly buy some new shoes. Fun times.
Friday, 11 February 2011
First Date
First New York style date took longer to organise than anticipated, but it's in the diary for Thursday next week at a mutually agreed central location. It feels rather odd organising a meeting via a medium (i.e. the matchmaker, as opposed to a spiritualist) rather than actually communicating with the person you're meeting, but at the same time kind of nice.
Matchmaker suggester a restaurant, so neither of us had to think of that and, as an added bonus I went there just last month so not only do I know where it is, but also what I like on the menu. Here's hoping they won't make me try Mexican street food from the weirder end of the spectrum...
Oh, and the other great thing about this matchmaking business is that Matchmaker already has her next date for me up her sleeve - so if Thursday is a disaster, it really doesn't matter - there's another guy already lined up for a date. I could really get used to this and, compared to all those online dating sites, this is incredibly cheap - all it's costing me is sporadic coffees for the Matchmaker...
Matchmaker suggester a restaurant, so neither of us had to think of that and, as an added bonus I went there just last month so not only do I know where it is, but also what I like on the menu. Here's hoping they won't make me try Mexican street food from the weirder end of the spectrum...
Oh, and the other great thing about this matchmaking business is that Matchmaker already has her next date for me up her sleeve - so if Thursday is a disaster, it really doesn't matter - there's another guy already lined up for a date. I could really get used to this and, compared to all those online dating sites, this is incredibly cheap - all it's costing me is sporadic coffees for the Matchmaker...
Friday, 4 February 2011
New York style dating
This afternoon, I was unusually referred to as Carrie Bradshaw several times during one coffee date (I use date in the context of two friends meeting for a hot beverage at a scheduled time). This friend - lets call her Singer Friend - and I meet regularly for coffee and she is a seasoned listener to my men woes. This friend is also something of a matchmaker and had alerted me a couple of weeks ago that after a dry patch, she was ready to get going again and had me firmly on her list of potentials...
For 2011 she's decided to encourage 'New York style dating' amongst her friends and acquaintances - dates that don't necessarily mean either party is massively interested, but that are a way of getting to know people. Thus, she is in the process of setting up several couples on blind dates (I am the fourth this week) with no strings attached. She compared it to Sex and the City (though insisting that as we're good Christians there'll be no sex) and likened me to Carrie. Honestly, Carrie and I don't have much in common - except for blonde, sporadically wild hair; something of a shoe interest; and a passion for writing - so this was really quite a compliment.
Singer Friend is so into this that I joked that she was like Sally's friend in When Harry Met Sally who had a rolladex containing possible men - her response was that as she'd walked through the bookstore in which we were drinking she'd browsed the nice notebook section with a view to using one for such a purpose.
Anyway, the upshot of this is that I have a date - next week in fact. Exact date is to be negotiated via Singer Friend, but it's very much on the cards. I have his name, but he doesn't know mine (she thinks that women prefer to have at least a little bit of info to go on), I've also sworn not to look him up on Facebook. I recognised the name (it's a guy from church) but though I can't recall what he looks like, have a vague recollection that I've seen photos of him & been vaguely intrigued. But it's just one date and already she's planning more...
I just hope that it's more successful than the last time she tried to matchmake me. She'd mentioned a guy who'd met me at her engagement party and circumstances meant that she didn't have chance to organise a date before her wedding. So what did she do instead? Seat us together at the reception, of course! On a table with no one I knew - without any of my many friends who were present - I was stuck next to a guy with an unfortunate first name who's most interesting topic of conversation was a recent translation of the Bible from Hebrew into Spanish. We had nothing in common and I spent a lot of the reception trying to escape him (while one dear, dear friend sniggered from a neighbouring table). Since then she's apologised profusely and now I'm ready to trust her judgement. Let's see what happens.
For 2011 she's decided to encourage 'New York style dating' amongst her friends and acquaintances - dates that don't necessarily mean either party is massively interested, but that are a way of getting to know people. Thus, she is in the process of setting up several couples on blind dates (I am the fourth this week) with no strings attached. She compared it to Sex and the City (though insisting that as we're good Christians there'll be no sex) and likened me to Carrie. Honestly, Carrie and I don't have much in common - except for blonde, sporadically wild hair; something of a shoe interest; and a passion for writing - so this was really quite a compliment.
Singer Friend is so into this that I joked that she was like Sally's friend in When Harry Met Sally who had a rolladex containing possible men - her response was that as she'd walked through the bookstore in which we were drinking she'd browsed the nice notebook section with a view to using one for such a purpose.
Anyway, the upshot of this is that I have a date - next week in fact. Exact date is to be negotiated via Singer Friend, but it's very much on the cards. I have his name, but he doesn't know mine (she thinks that women prefer to have at least a little bit of info to go on), I've also sworn not to look him up on Facebook. I recognised the name (it's a guy from church) but though I can't recall what he looks like, have a vague recollection that I've seen photos of him & been vaguely intrigued. But it's just one date and already she's planning more...
I just hope that it's more successful than the last time she tried to matchmake me. She'd mentioned a guy who'd met me at her engagement party and circumstances meant that she didn't have chance to organise a date before her wedding. So what did she do instead? Seat us together at the reception, of course! On a table with no one I knew - without any of my many friends who were present - I was stuck next to a guy with an unfortunate first name who's most interesting topic of conversation was a recent translation of the Bible from Hebrew into Spanish. We had nothing in common and I spent a lot of the reception trying to escape him (while one dear, dear friend sniggered from a neighbouring table). Since then she's apologised profusely and now I'm ready to trust her judgement. Let's see what happens.
Friday, 28 January 2011
The Christian world moves in ever decreasing circles
So, the saga (is it a saga? perhaps story is more apt) of Guardian Man continues...
A little bit before Christmas I went to a comedy thing organised by the same people involved in the end of summer Christian festival I like to attend. It was likely that Guardian Man would also be present, as it's the team he produces, but as I was going with GMF I figured I was unlikely to run into him and it was even less likely that he'd recognise me as the blithering idiot from 4 months previously. However, on the day GMF bailed and I ended up going solo.
After the event, a few people asked me to review on my regular blog, so I did and it then got rather widely distributed across the Christian web. For some reason, within my post I felt inspired to mention this possibly awkward interaction:
This week further randomness ensued thanks to Twitter - I noticed that GMF was now following Guardian Man and that Guardian Man had reciprocated. Even weirder.
Seriously, do random connections happen like this with other people? I mean seriously, I seem to not be able to go near a dating site without it coming back and hitting me!
A little bit before Christmas I went to a comedy thing organised by the same people involved in the end of summer Christian festival I like to attend. It was likely that Guardian Man would also be present, as it's the team he produces, but as I was going with GMF I figured I was unlikely to run into him and it was even less likely that he'd recognise me as the blithering idiot from 4 months previously. However, on the day GMF bailed and I ended up going solo.
After the event, a few people asked me to review on my regular blog, so I did and it then got rather widely distributed across the Christian web. For some reason, within my post I felt inspired to mention this possibly awkward interaction:
A particular achievement was successfully saving myself from a potentially embarrassing encounter with someone I'd met at the last [the festival] (at 1am, at the end of the festival and fairly delirious from lack of sleep) who I knew would be there.
When we'd last chatted (I say chatted, I may in fact have wittered at length) he had spent the entire conversation trying to work out how he recognised me, certain that we had met before. We hadn't, but I might once have sent him an e-mail via a Christian dating site that he may or may not have replied to, and we might also have had a mutual friend who had then introduced us in person (she thought it would be funny to see what happened). Anyway, I was anxious not to repeat what was a fairly mortifying experience and was hopeful that he wouldn't recognise me (for a start, I wasn't wearing my uber attractive 'camping occasions fleece'). He walked past me just as I was leaving and did a double-take, but thankfully didn't stop to talk - potentially embarrassing encounter avoided.Thing was, this post was so widely distributed that I realised it was likely Guardian Man himself had read it. Then someone sent me a link to a YouTube video that was shown at the event, so I could link to it. When I looked it up, I discovered that the video had been posted by none other than Guardian Man and that it also linked back to my review. Thus, one could safely say that he had read it - whether he'd realised it was him is another matter...
This week further randomness ensued thanks to Twitter - I noticed that GMF was now following Guardian Man and that Guardian Man had reciprocated. Even weirder.
Seriously, do random connections happen like this with other people? I mean seriously, I seem to not be able to go near a dating site without it coming back and hitting me!
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