Bad dates

How I love stories of dire dates...

Tonight an old friend told me of two classics. The first was a fresh (very fresh) example - from today, in fact. She was late to our dinner with a mutual friend because she'd been with a friend in a cafe when their laptop was stolen earlier in the afternoon. Once she arrived, it emerged that this hadn't simply been coffee with a friend, it was actually a first date. How awful! She felt really bad, not least because not only had he lost his laptop, but she also didn't think she liked him more than a friend.

Later, we shared further dating stories, while our mutual friend (married for over four years) sat back and thanked her lucky stars that she was no longer on the dating scene. The worst story went something like this:

Friend of the laptop theft had been set up by her parents (yes, her parents - for the first and last time) and from the moment she met the guy it wasn't likely to go well as he was significantly (i.e. more than a foot) shorter than her. She persisted for her parents' sake and rejected his dinner suggestion in favour of coffee. In the cafe, he ordered and didn't bother asking her if she wanted anything (even the waitress was surprised), so she bought her own drink. [Btw, we don't have issues with paying our own way on dates, but it's just coffee - surely it's mean not to even offer?] Then, the opening question from him was: "so, you googled me, right?".

No, no she hadn't. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind. I mean, I'd do if I knew the full name of the person in advance (which isn't often the case with online dating or when I matchmaked by The Matchmaker), but I wouldn't tell them I'd done it! It turns out that she's not particularly tech-savvy, so I'm going to have to give her a lesson on the importance of googling oneself at regular intervals, but needless to say this topic of conversation freaked her out a bit. The date didn't last much long than a very quick caffeine injection and her parents probably won't ever be able to set her up with someone again.

Matchmaking at work

It comes to something when one of the (many) e-mails you discover upon returning to work after a holiday, is from a colleague asking you to share dates when you might be able to come round for dinner. This might be a nice thing, except this particular colleague has been badgering you for ages about this particular rendezvous, as they'd like to set you up with someone...

This, of course, is a terribly nice thing - wanting you to meet someone you might like and live happily ever after with - but at the same time, this is matchmaking in the workplace, and this can get awkward...

Like the colleague mentioning the guy she has in mind during team meetings or coffee breaks, so that before long, every single person on the floor is aware that she's plotting to matchmake me. And the 'date' itself would be awkward - in her house, with her family (who I've not met), with someone she describes as a 'second son'. If I don't like him, this is going to get tricky.

But one of my colleagues thinks this is great - they'd like me to do it just so I can report back on what will invariably (according to them) an hilarious evening. I suppose I've got nothing to lose, but this does seem to be an awkward clash of personal life and work life.

First Date

First New York style date took longer to organise than anticipated, but it's in the diary for Thursday next week at a mutually agreed central location. It feels rather odd organising a meeting via a medium (i.e. the matchmaker, as opposed to a spiritualist) rather than actually communicating with the person you're meeting, but at the same time kind of nice.

Matchmaker suggester a restaurant, so neither of us had to think of that and, as an added bonus I went there just last month so not only do I know where it is, but also what I like on the menu. Here's hoping they won't make me try Mexican street food from the weirder end of the spectrum...

Oh, and the other great thing about this matchmaking business is that Matchmaker already has her next date for me up her sleeve - so if Thursday is a disaster, it really doesn't matter - there's another guy already lined up for a date. I could really get used to this and, compared to all those online dating sites, this is incredibly cheap - all it's costing me is sporadic coffees for the Matchmaker...

New York style dating

This afternoon, I was unusually referred to as Carrie Bradshaw several times during one coffee date (I use date in the context of two friends meeting for a hot beverage at a scheduled time). This friend - lets call her Singer Friend - and I meet regularly for coffee and she is a seasoned listener to my men woes. This friend is also something of a matchmaker and had alerted me a couple of weeks ago that after a dry patch, she was ready to get going again and had me firmly on her list of potentials...

For 2011 she's decided to encourage 'New York style dating' amongst her friends and acquaintances - dates that don't necessarily mean either party is massively interested, but that are a way of getting to know people. Thus, she is in the process of setting up several couples on blind dates (I am the fourth this week) with no strings attached. She compared it to Sex and the City (though insisting that as we're good Christians there'll be no sex) and likened me to Carrie. Honestly, Carrie and I don't have much in common - except for blonde, sporadically wild hair; something of a shoe interest; and a passion for writing - so this was really quite a compliment.

Singer Friend is so into this that I joked that she was like Sally's friend in When Harry Met Sally who had a rolladex containing possible men - her response was that as she'd walked through the bookstore in which we were drinking she'd browsed the nice notebook section with a view to using one for such a purpose.

Anyway, the upshot of this is that I have a date - next week in fact. Exact date is to be negotiated via Singer Friend, but it's very much on the cards. I have his name, but he doesn't know mine (she thinks that women prefer to have at least a little bit of info to go on), I've also sworn not to look him up on Facebook. I recognised the name (it's a guy from church) but though I can't recall what he looks like, have a vague recollection that I've seen photos of him & been vaguely intrigued. But it's just one date and already she's planning more...

I just hope that it's more successful than the last time she tried to matchmake me. She'd mentioned a guy who'd met me at her engagement party and circumstances meant that she didn't have chance to organise a date before her wedding. So what did she do instead? Seat us together at the reception, of course! On a table with no one I knew - without any of my many friends who were present - I was stuck next to a guy with an unfortunate first name who's most interesting topic of conversation was a recent translation of the Bible from Hebrew into Spanish. We had nothing in common and I spent a lot of the reception trying to escape him (while one dear, dear friend sniggered from a neighbouring table). Since then she's apologised profusely and now I'm ready to trust her judgement. Let's see what happens.