Continuing lessons

It's amazing the difference a year or two makes in this whole area. This time round, I am taking things both less and more seriously. Less in that I don't mind if people ignore me; more in that I have a strategy and I'm making myself do things that I might not have usually done.

The strategy works like this:

• I 'wave' at any one who looks interesting and who I'd be happy to have coffee with.
• If they wave back, I automatically send them a message.
• If they're not a full member, I send them a message including an alternate email address I've set up expressly for this purpose (see, taking it seriously!).
• If they don't wave back and I'm really interested, I message them anyway. 

So far it's having mixed results, but that's ok. Mr Coward hasn't replied to the message I sent him last week - one of his suggested I contact him via Facebook, but I'm not willing to expose that much about myself so early on. Someone I'm very keen on hadn't replied to my wave, but had looked at my profile a couple of times, so I sent them a message last night - we'll see what happens next. Someone else immediately responded to my wave with a message that was rather lovely, and someone else has emailed me at my alternate address. I think that's good going for 7 days...

About the alternate address...

This is a fabulous idea. I'm not too keen (given my slightly unusual surname) to get my full name out there immediately, or to give people something that easily leads them to my Facebook account or Google profile. So instead, I've created a Gmail address that includes my account username which autoforwards all mail to my regular account. From there, I can choose whether I send mail as me, or the alternate. Simples. 

In the mean time, I've learnt several things:

• Including a photo of yourself with a Bishop is a surprisingly good tactic. (Colleague did this first - I laughed, she informed me that she'd had an email thanks to it.) I've now had one email appreciating mine. Wow. 
• Man + baby + profile photo = swoon. 
• I'm pretty sure I'm not up for dating a guy who'd respect my purity to the extent of not kissing me till our wedding day.
• I'm also not up for a man whose response to the TV section of the profile is 'TV: full of sin'. 
• A surprising number of men feel it's appropriate to include photos of their dogs (just their dogs) on their profile. One man - the sinful TV guy - included a photo of his church building.
• There are a lot of strange guys out there, but there are some gems too. 

Jumping back in

It's January, and like many a lonesome singleton, I have jumped back into the pool of online dating.

Actually, it's not quite as pathetic as it sounds. I've been encouraged to move my Christian membership up to full, partly thanks to a message from a potential possibility (let's call him Mr Coward) and partly because a colleague has joined and it's nice to share these amusing adventures. In fact, it was logging on to see if someone that had messaged her had ever messaged me that revealed that a message I'd not bothered reading actually had some potential...

Spending an afternoon chuckling at the ridiculousness of my colleague communicating with a man who thought that port, JS Bach and the rise of the Provisional Government in 1917 were suitable topics for early-stage email flirtation was enough to inspire me. So this evening I've shelled out some cash, 'waved' at a few vaguely interesting men with abandon and replied to the aforementioned Mr Coward. I'll give it a month to see what - if anything - emerges.

And what of the last 6 months (or more)? Well, I didn't go on holiday with Mr Long Replyer (he dropped out at the last minute - so last minute that I got off the plane half expecting him to be at the airport), but he's probably going to be around on our next jolly over Easter. We saw each other twice in the space of a week at a couple of dinner parties, the highlight of which was a small gathering where the only men were him and GMF - wonderful. Oh, and I was forwarded an email from him containing very odd references to the 'karmic coincidence' of me organising the next group holiday. Fun stuff. I'll say it again - be careful how you end online dalliances!

Oh, and I reprised my performance as Kate Winslet playing Iris in The Holiday. I had gumption an told a man who had been an idiot that he had been an idiot. I then spent several weeks weeping; a little bit longer being angry; and a bit longer than that wondering where all the non-idiotic men were. 2012 dawned with a new sense of freedom and hope - which can only be a good thing.

Stay tuned for further dating adventures and ponderings...