Put your pens down...now.

Gradually, I'm being introduced to the varying levels of communication that eHarmony permits. Today, I got the next level with Mr Beautiful Eyes. [He doesn't have beautiful eyes, but it's one of the things he lists as attractive in the opposite sex - it's about the only unique thing I've discovered about him so far...plus, I have it on good authority that should we meet, he may be rather impressed by my blue peepers!]

Anyway, I wasn't sure what the next step would involve, so logged on with interest. The first thing I noticed was a line in bold type instructing me that:
'You must complete your work and click "Send" within 60 minutes to avoid being logged out.'

Anyone else feeling the exam vibes?? The 'work' in question is another list of questions, this time with space to write your answer in your own words - the excitement! It goes on to suggest that you draft your response in Word to avoid losing your thoughts. This isn't online dating so much as coursework regulations!

On reading the questions, it moves into job interview mode...
1. Why have you signed up to eHarmony and what are you hoping to get from it?
2. How do you enjoy spending your free time? Do you enjoy any particular sports or exercise?
3. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.

I will now have to take some time to carefully consider my response. Is dating meant to be such brain-draining work?

Being guided

So, in the weird world of eHarmony, the first actual communication you get with a possibility is a 5 question multiple choice quiz. I've taken the strategy of sending the same questions to all matches I like the look of - mainly because I can't be bothered to keep choosing new ones, and they're fairly important criteria.

I'm not entirely sure what these questions say about me, but this is how I judge the responses:

• If you decided to stay at home for the evening would you tend to: watch TV; clean; read; talk on the phone [I'm not so bothered by this answer, it's just intriguing!]
• How many books did you read last year? 0-3; 3-7; 8-12; more than 12 [This needs to be 12+, it's an imperative.]
• If you went out to eat with a friend, which of the following would you prefer? A nice 4* restaurant; a basic steakhouse; an undiscovered hideaway; a hole in the wall with great food. [Steak house is a definite no - the others are all fine.]
• How do you feel about food? Gourmand; eat healthily & consume little; like it & occasionally eat large meals; eat three regular meals a day. [This is more so I know where I stand - especially if there's a foodie in the offing!]
• If I had a bad day, what is the first thing you would do for me? Cook you dinner; rub your shoulders; talk with you about your day; take you out on the town. [Talking, rubbing shoulders & cooking would all win...]

Lest you fear that this is totally impersonal, eHarmony does allow a little creativity - there's an 'other' option for each question. Some bright sparks use this to try and catch your attention...

The food question? Don't just tell me about your eating habits, throw in a bit more of your personality:

I love to eat food and experience international culture through it.

I enjoy cooking and having mates round.... It's more the company than the food.

If I've had a bad day? Make yourself sound like the perfect man:

I'd put the kettle on and make tea, followed by a shoulder rub and talking about your day. Really depends on the situation.

Can I cook you dinner and then take you out for a drink? Awww, since you asked so nicely, yes you can!

Or, just make yourself sound a tad desperate: Talk to you and do what ever is necessary to do. Well, if it's 'necessary'...

Interesting stuff, yet I can't help wondering if this just makes me even more judgemental than simple profile watching!