Just as I was starting to feel guilty that my lack-lustre e-mail to Mr Long Replyer had offended him to the extent that he was scared off completely I received another lengthy epistle...
It's at least five paragraphs long, although I've not read it properly. I saw its length and promptly gave up on reading it! (It should be noted that at the time I was in a an extreme state of tiredness following a weekend away, I wasn't simply being flighty.) The thing is, his last e-mail - entitled 'knock, knock' and querying why I'd not replied to his first post-date communication - was rather intense in terms of content. Apparently if he had my number he'd have phoned by now. It's all getting a bit much and I'm even less inclined to go for a second date than I was initially.
Also, and this says a lot for the way my mind works, I've taken against him because (despite not reading it properly) I noticed that four of the five paragraphs within his e-mail began with the word 'so'. Clearly my dating choices are now being governed by good grammar as well as my heart...
In other news, I'm becoming less attracted to eHarmony owing to the number of 'flexible matches' it's sent me in recent days. These are men who don't quite meet my criteria - usually because they're above 35 or live outside London. I can be flexible to the extent of Reading, Oxford or Brighton, but not Rotherham or Londonderry! It does make me wonder if after the initial flurry of good matches, this is all the computer has left for me and thus I'm still in a quandary as to whether hand over any cash to them if this is the quality of match I can expect.
Oh, and they matched me with a guy who played in a bugle band. I know I said I like music, but I'm not sure a bugle band qualifies!
Showing posts with label e-mails. Show all posts
Showing posts with label e-mails. Show all posts
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Post date-night
How I wish there was an hilarious story to tell about Friday - there really isn't.
It was fine. We met at 7pm, said goodbye shortly after 11.30pm and there were no awkward silences. On paper that sounds like a resounding success.
However...I didn't fancy him. He was a bit old for my liking and he seemed to lack 'edge'. He was very nice, we talked about theology, politics, church, university etc, but there was little comedy. Unsurprisingly, within half an hour we'd identified some mutual friends/acquaintances.
As we parted company he asked if I'd be interested in seeing him again. This caught me slightly by surprise so I failed to come up with a coherent reply, but generally indicating the affirmative. At the time my attitude was that I ought to give him a second chance.
That attitude diminished an hour later when I had not one, but two e-mails from him on the dating site. I didn't read them (I like to wait a while between notification and reading because the sneaky site will tell the sender when you read it!) but I wondered about their contents. E-mailing straight away would make him pretty keen.
After a busy weekend, I finally read them yesterday morning - turns out the second was a duplicate of the first, so less scary. I meant to reply last night, but forgot because I was caught up with watching Glee. Oops. This morning, another e-mail - I've not read it yet, but as it's also from him, I'm guessing it's a 'why haven't you replied yet' kind of e-mail. Oh dear. Now I really don't know how to respond. Second chance or no second chance?
It was fine. We met at 7pm, said goodbye shortly after 11.30pm and there were no awkward silences. On paper that sounds like a resounding success.
However...I didn't fancy him. He was a bit old for my liking and he seemed to lack 'edge'. He was very nice, we talked about theology, politics, church, university etc, but there was little comedy. Unsurprisingly, within half an hour we'd identified some mutual friends/acquaintances.
As we parted company he asked if I'd be interested in seeing him again. This caught me slightly by surprise so I failed to come up with a coherent reply, but generally indicating the affirmative. At the time my attitude was that I ought to give him a second chance.
That attitude diminished an hour later when I had not one, but two e-mails from him on the dating site. I didn't read them (I like to wait a while between notification and reading because the sneaky site will tell the sender when you read it!) but I wondered about their contents. E-mailing straight away would make him pretty keen.
After a busy weekend, I finally read them yesterday morning - turns out the second was a duplicate of the first, so less scary. I meant to reply last night, but forgot because I was caught up with watching Glee. Oops. This morning, another e-mail - I've not read it yet, but as it's also from him, I'm guessing it's a 'why haven't you replied yet' kind of e-mail. Oh dear. Now I really don't know how to respond. Second chance or no second chance?
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Writer's block and Verbal Diarrhoea
Why is it that the first e-mail is always the hardest?
You scan profiles, trying not to sound too lame, trying to come up with a more ingenius subject than 'Hello'.
You angst for minutes over how to end it and whether to sign off with a kiss.
Then you wait - interminably - for a reply.
So far, I've sent three e-mails and yet only one guy's responded. And they're Christians! Hmph.
When a reply does arrive, the temptation is to reply immediately - especially if you're someone like me who tends to forget to reply if you leave it too long.
With Mr Long Replyer, I spent a couple of hours composing an eloquent reply (well, I was distracted by things like Facebook chat, blog stats, a skype call and a change of government...) and within hours had another very long response - followed by a one sentence follow up the next morning! Impressive.
But, I'm a writer. I find answering questions about myself very easy - it's why I'm committed to blog writing, surely the most narcissistic past-time there is! I know I can write well, amusingly, interestingly - it doesn't take a lot of effort. [And that's not me being big-headed, honest!] My fear is that I won't live up to it in the flesh.
Plus, I know from past experience that I can build up really good relationships via the written word that don't quite match in practice - like the friend who I couldn't stand in person, yet via blogging and e-mailing we became close friends. Weird.
Oh well, there is now one actual date on the cards. Well, it's been suggested and I've agreed that it sounds like a good idea - an actual date in the diary is yet to be established.
In the mean time, I'll get back to the e-mail I started writing 2 hours ago. Unsurprisingly, it's another of the 'firsts', very tricky.
You scan profiles, trying not to sound too lame, trying to come up with a more ingenius subject than 'Hello'.
You angst for minutes over how to end it and whether to sign off with a kiss.
Then you wait - interminably - for a reply.
So far, I've sent three e-mails and yet only one guy's responded. And they're Christians! Hmph.
When a reply does arrive, the temptation is to reply immediately - especially if you're someone like me who tends to forget to reply if you leave it too long.
With Mr Long Replyer, I spent a couple of hours composing an eloquent reply (well, I was distracted by things like Facebook chat, blog stats, a skype call and a change of government...) and within hours had another very long response - followed by a one sentence follow up the next morning! Impressive.
But, I'm a writer. I find answering questions about myself very easy - it's why I'm committed to blog writing, surely the most narcissistic past-time there is! I know I can write well, amusingly, interestingly - it doesn't take a lot of effort. [And that's not me being big-headed, honest!] My fear is that I won't live up to it in the flesh.
Plus, I know from past experience that I can build up really good relationships via the written word that don't quite match in practice - like the friend who I couldn't stand in person, yet via blogging and e-mailing we became close friends. Weird.
Oh well, there is now one actual date on the cards. Well, it's been suggested and I've agreed that it sounds like a good idea - an actual date in the diary is yet to be established.
In the mean time, I'll get back to the e-mail I started writing 2 hours ago. Unsurprisingly, it's another of the 'firsts', very tricky.
Excitement?
So, the Christian guy who replied to my e-mail on Saturday turned out to have written a veritable essay! I was very impressed, whilst also slightly intimidated by his reading calibre. Top class theologians? Check.
This evening I spent a considerable amount of time reading and replying - only for another (almost as long) reply to arrive before I got to bed. Very, very impressive. I think we get on, we obviously have similar interests, so perhaps meeting in person would be a very logical next step.
My only worry is that his e-mail ticked a lot of boxes that Good Male Friend ticks - they seem very similar and I'm wondering if the only reason I'm interested in this guy is because I'm almost imagining that it's GMF writing the e-mails. Oh well, I suppose it can't do any harm to go on a date and see what happens!
This evening I spent a considerable amount of time reading and replying - only for another (almost as long) reply to arrive before I got to bed. Very, very impressive. I think we get on, we obviously have similar interests, so perhaps meeting in person would be a very logical next step.
My only worry is that his e-mail ticked a lot of boxes that Good Male Friend ticks - they seem very similar and I'm wondering if the only reason I'm interested in this guy is because I'm almost imagining that it's GMF writing the e-mails. Oh well, I suppose it can't do any harm to go on a date and see what happens!
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Dropping lines
Toes have been dipped in the online dating pool...
My first experiment is with Christian dating - figured that would be the safest place to begin. My previous experiments in this world were all on free sites. I acquired one date (perfectly nice, included some opera, but I didn't fancy him), a lot of weirdos and one incredibly comedy situation resulting from Christian small-world-ness. But I have a theory that if you actually pay for one of these sites you'll have more invested in it and thus will find a better class of man.
So, I've handed over money to a site that last year spawned two marriages in my church alone. A trial membership showed up a few possibilities (including one guy from church - intriguing) and I'm now giving it a month to see what happens.
Two e-mails have been sent to viable possibilities.
Two e-mails have been received from distinct non-possibilities.
One profile has been spotted that's looking for a woman with 'classic Biblical femininity'. I can't even begin to know where to begin with that one...
My only nagging concern is that all I'm looking for is a replica of Good Male Friend who is almost perfect in many ways, except that he doesn't want us to be more than friends. Hmmmmm. At least I'm moving on in a practical way!
My first experiment is with Christian dating - figured that would be the safest place to begin. My previous experiments in this world were all on free sites. I acquired one date (perfectly nice, included some opera, but I didn't fancy him), a lot of weirdos and one incredibly comedy situation resulting from Christian small-world-ness. But I have a theory that if you actually pay for one of these sites you'll have more invested in it and thus will find a better class of man.
So, I've handed over money to a site that last year spawned two marriages in my church alone. A trial membership showed up a few possibilities (including one guy from church - intriguing) and I'm now giving it a month to see what happens.
Two e-mails have been sent to viable possibilities.
Two e-mails have been received from distinct non-possibilities.
One profile has been spotted that's looking for a woman with 'classic Biblical femininity'. I can't even begin to know where to begin with that one...
My only nagging concern is that all I'm looking for is a replica of Good Male Friend who is almost perfect in many ways, except that he doesn't want us to be more than friends. Hmmmmm. At least I'm moving on in a practical way!
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